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The Fantasy Bride

Are you in touch with the type of bride you are? Reality or Fantasy? Fantasy is defined as "the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable." This type of bride has seen every wedding reality TV show and have decided that this is what she wants for her wedding. There is nothing wrong with getting ideas and having vision for your big day. But have you adequately prepared to spend the type of money that society says you have to spend?

In my research while writing this book, today the average budget for a wedding is now estimated to be $28,000+ so...about $40 billion is spent on weddings every year in the U.S. I do not know who it is that sets the standards, I do not know what happened to the time when you had light refreshments for the wedding reception in the church fellowship hall.

Somewhere down the line, we started sitting down having five course meals, butlered hors d'oeuvres and just BLEW the budget! This practice has somehow become the norm. Don't get it twisted, I do love a fancy dinner and I think that this is a day that you should go beyond the norm, and add a few extras. However, if you do not have the money...DON'T DO IT!

Do the Math! If you do not have a significant amount of savings or are not being totally financed by your well to do parents, grandparents or financially fit groom to be, do not go out and spend large amounts of money on your wedding. My husband and I were just content to get married, of course not having any additional money to spend on a wedding, nor did we want to wait. We were married by my father who was a minister in his office on a Friday evening. Our honeymoon was a slice of pizza at Mr. Gatti's Pizza in Homewood, AL. The honeymoon suite was a blue light bulb in our one bedroom apartment. We were just ecstatic!

Start off by taking the following steps:

#1 - EMBRACE YOUR TRUE REALITY?

Do not be afraid to admit what that really is. Is it 75 guests at a local hall, or is it maybe 150 guests at a nice venue with meals just under $100 per person, or is it 200 guests at $150 per person? Whatever it is, embrace it and run with it. I guarantee if you are true to yourself, your budget and those closest to you will help you create the wedding you have always dreamed of.

#2 - SEARCH ONLINE FOR PREOWNED MERCHANDISE & SALES?

If you determine that your dream wedding exceeds your budget, use the internet to get those high end finds. You may want a particular type of vase, or flowers, but it exceeds the budget, checkout Facebook for pages that sell recycled wedding items. In Delaware, it is called #RecycleyourweddingDelaware." These types of groups are popping up all over. Also, check out Facebook Marketplace and perhaps #OfferUp. There are always huge discounts for wedding decorations, etc.

#3 - Contact Friends or Relatives Who have Recently Wed

Remember to contact those girlfriends, or relatives who recently wed perhaps within the last two years. They may have purchased quite a few items that are stored in their attic or garage that may be useful for your wedding. Especially if they fall into the DIY category.

When my husband and I got married, our focus was the marriage and not the one day event of a wedding. That was thirty six years ago. We waited and planned a very nice wedding ceremony on our ten year anniversary. All of our children participated and it was just as exciting as the first time we were married. We even splurged a little and stayed at the Embassy Suites Hotel (although still in Homewood, AL) and enjoyed a ride in a Rolls Royce.

The most important aspect of the day is your lifelong commitment to be husband and wife. In good times and in rough times, forsaking all others and clinging only to each other. That my friend makes for a wonderful day no matter how many trinkets and carriages and bling you have or whether you spend $20,000 or $2,000 on your wedding. Enjoy the moment, and the joy your experience will last a lifetime!

For questions, comments, or topics that you would like covered, please send us an email to monica@thevirtualweddingcoach.com

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